You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's shark week go big or go home
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
