What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
