Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
