standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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