I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
