Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
