he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
