just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
