What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
