I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
