he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
