Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
