i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
