Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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