Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
