i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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