cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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