If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
