my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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