Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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