so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
