I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
