hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
