Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
