nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
