I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
