Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
