So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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