boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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