i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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