But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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