i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
