***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
