This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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