he wants to bone in the snuggie
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You are a genius and a whore.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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