I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
