I just threw up on my dentist
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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