i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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