Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
my poor anus
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
