i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
