i just made my gag reflex go away.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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