before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
