): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
