my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
