Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
