Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
