After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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