If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
