does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My life is pants optional.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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