this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
