for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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